Chinglish, pt. 2: Why I Can’t Stand *Small Yellow People*

Welcome back! My apologies for the delay – things have been crazy here on the other side of the world.  Last week, we discussed how Chinese transliterations of foreign words lean towards nonsensical lunacy – “Grape Tooth” for Portugal, “Chinese Fortress” for hamburger, and the like. But, as much hair as I’ve pulled out trying to […]

Chinglish, Part 1: Of Grape-Tooth and Deformed-Man-Toilet

Look familiar? If you’ve ever been to China – or Tumblr – you’ve probably seen a gem like this.  This is a classic example of what we call “Chinglish,” i.e when Chinese doesn’t make the journey to English unscathed. The sign above is the result of google translate (well, baidu translate) issues: you plug in the sentence and […]

life in china: a sextet of unexpected joys

China gets a lot of flak. I should know – most of what I’ve written on here thus far has been about the terrible traffic, government censoring (still not blocked!), and compatibility with Donald Trump. [he’s the gift that keeps on giving] But in light of the Tangerine Tornado’s inability to last 10 seconds – I’m not exaggerating – without […]

a brief ode to the devil’s dip spit

In a futile effort to class this post up a bit, I’m going to start with a lovely and poetic Chinese saying: 酒逢知己千杯少; 话不投机半句多 When drinking with a friend, a thousand glasses are too few; when the conversation turns sour, a single word is too much. Now – to more appropriately set the tone – here’s another Chinese […]

what I’ve learned from playing in beijing traffic

The *bad Asian driver* stereotype never made much sense to me. I don’t mean that in some *I can’t derive the humor from up here on my high horse* kind of way – it just doesn’t fit with all the other stereotypes. A car, after all, is an advanced piece of machinery that demands intelligence and quick reactions. If you’re going to […]

on dead dogs and the impending scorpion apocalypse

  Disclaimer: In case the title didn’t tip you off, you may find some of the following to be slightly unpleasant. Or a lot unpleasant.      Ok? Ok. Let’s do this. I love Chinese food. Odds are, so do you. According to Time Magazine, there’s more Chinese places in America than “all the McDonald’s, KFCs, Pizza Huts, Taco […]